Is the confidence gap real? Simple tips to boost self-confidence in uncertainty
There have been many studies to suggest that women are less confident or self-assured than men. However, in a world where confidence and competence go hand in hand for success, it’s important that we challenge this gap and close it, because frankly, the most beautiful thing you can wear is self-confidence.
So just how does this confidence gap manifest itself in the workplace? A common conception is that it contributes to women highly underestimating their abilities. This in turn leads to passing up of opportunities for growth and advancement based on a perceived skill or competency gap. An HP internal report cited often offers the statistic that while men apply to a job when they meet only 60% of the qualifications, women tend to apply only if they meet a 100%. Some recent work by HBR has also looked at an interesting correlation between perceived confidence gap and actual, finding that women don’t necessarily perceive such a gap exists, but it’s in fact how they are viewed by others based on an appearance driven confidence perception.
One can practically write a thesis backed by research on this topic. Instead, I’ll share my own personal experience and what I personally have done differently to overcome it.
I recall about a year ago I had a great opportunity at work to take up a project for a client in a functional area where I didn’t have much experience at all. I was being asked to lead a program and a team that would likely define the next phase of my career and progression. My first instinct though was nervous jitters- why me? Maybe I should brush up on my knowledge? How will I gain client’s trust in this area? Fast forward and I’ve built a great team, we have a long-term relationship on the program, and I really knew way more than I gave myself kudos for. Since, a mentor at work also guided me, trust yourself- because if you don’t, then no one else around you will.
You see, it’s no one’s job to make you feel like you can do it. It’s only yours. Here’s some things that have helped me close the gap in my head and heart, when not much was known about what lies ahead.
1. Don’t overthink it: Seriously don’t. The more you agonize about checking each bullet point, the harder it’ll be on your swag. Instead, take it in and go with by instinct- does this excite you, even if it’s a new area? Unless you are asked to perform a surgery when you’re a lawyer (you get the idea), chances are it is up your ally.
2. Get back to basics: I have often found that it’s the stuff women tend to naturally be better at- building connections, team morale, connecting the dots, relating to people, it’s all the instincts that are so native for us that are foundational to the success of any initiative. So, the next time you are in self-doubt, remember that the tactical stuff can be learned or brushed up on, but it’s the human side of things that matters the most and you have it in abundance.
3. Talk to folks: Chances are that someone in your organization has ‘been there done that’. Seek out mentors and others in your network who may have tips that can help you thrive in the new role or opportunity.
4. Take time to reflect: Some say ‘fake it till you make it’, but I really think that you have to be yourself and you have to embrace all that comes with it. You may not be 100% certain, but be confident in what you do know, and confident in discovering what you don’t by asking the right questions. And it’s important to think back on each experience and learn from it so that you can continue to close that gap.
Overall, it’s also important to work for an organization and be part of the change at companies that truly make equality and equal access to opportunity a priority in their ethos, all the way from hiring to talent development.
Related blog: Lacking Confidence Costs You Time, Money, Your Love Life and Opportunity
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